Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Thoughts after pulling out the plug

So it's been interesting so far, proceeding with life without the need of having any computer provided at your own personal disposal. I'm still able to connect with the world, given the fact that you're reading this right now, but only at certain times that go hand in hand with the computer lab opening scheduel in the university dormatory.


Idle and sometimes meaningless browsing over the same thing, over and over again, had never proven to be time consuming until I had deprvied myself from the means of practicing it. Without it, the day somehow becomes bigger, slower and filled with an immense sense of oppurtunity, but if you're not stubborn enough with the attitude of being productive, you'll most likely find yourself staring at the ceiling.


In these few hours, I was able to discover three things about myself that struck me hard in the face. One, I'm illiterate; I have about sixteen books in my shelves waiting to be touched, having promised that I would read them in my 'spare time'. Even with all the time in the world, I've never turned a page.


Two, I'm Godless; well, not entirely. But in the silence I came to appreciate the little details in faith tradition was careful enough to pass along. While I fulfill my obligations, I seem to have lost touch with God by overlooking the details that go beyond them. Details that I've thought of, for instance, the times that I had forsaken moral integrity to demonstrate sarcasm. While I'm under no illusion of an intolerant God, I could at least appreciate the virtue behind a little sense of shame before the almighty. That, I believe, is a flicker of sincerety that we as human beings can spare as compared to the scenario of us hasting to finish our prayers, due to the fact that our subconciounce clouds us with illusions of higher priorities in life that we are often quick to succumb to.


Thirdly. . . I miss my father.

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